"State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth "resuscitation" to a long-dead opossum along a highway.
Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.
Levier says Wolfe was "extremely intoxicated" and "did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess."
CBS3
While I'm sure that I've done many things at least this stupid in my previous life, the fact of the matter is I wouldn't remember them anyway. That's because, to get drunk enough to put my lips to a possum's mouth I would have been so drunk that I would have blacked out hours before I lip locked the ugly, stiff little sucker. I would have been functioning purely on auto pilot by that time.
So you just got to wonder what went through this guys head the next day when he sobered up in a jail cell and all he could taste was dead critter flavor on his lips. We've got a ton of possums here at my house; we've gone so far as to name a few, so I'm fairly familiar with their lifestyle. NEVER, EVER PUT YOUR LIPS ON A POSSUM'S MOUTH, DEAD OR ALIVE! You ought'a see what those things eat.
Oh, by the way, I'm glad to see stupid, white trash, idiocy isn't peculiar to Missouri. I was thinking it might just be us.
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"I'm glad to see stupid, white trash, idiocy isn't peculiar to Missouri."
ReplyDeleteNo, but it sure as heck is peculiar to the US Congress. Didi you check out the photo of Obama signing Health care into law. One young black kid, and all those white trash Congress critters fawning over him. Was like a drunken white man giving mouth to mouth with a dead possum, except the possum is our country.