HEADACHES AND HAPPINESS

As anyone who suffers migraines knows, the pain can leave you speechless.

But Sarah Colwill has experienced a much more unusual vocal effect - she now speaks with a Chinese accent.

The disturbing impact of a chronic migraine has left her voice unrecognisable to family and friends.

Doctors say she has Foreign Accent Syndrome, a condition which damages the part of the brain that controls speech and word formation.

It is so rare, there are only 60 recorded cases in the world.

Mrs Colwill, 35, is baffled by the effects and fears she may never regain her normal pronunciation and tone of voice.

She said the change happened after she had such an extreme headache last month that she called for an ambulance.

Paramedics said her voice sounded strange and when she arrived at hospital she realised she was speaking like a Chinese woman.
Daily Mail
H/T I Own The World

This falls into the curiosity department. I've had headaches every day since I was fifteen, mostly manageable but frequently intense and occasionally crippling. I've had problems speaking from time to time because the headaches make the connection between brain and tongue somewhat tenuous. My speech can be slurred and often hard for others to hear, mostly because it sounds to me as though I'm screaming.

But I've never acquired an accent! So now I'm wondering, what kind would suit me best? Perhaps Maurice Chevalier or Cary Grant, suave and sophisticated, or perhaps a Ghandi, all sing songy in that strange Indian way. Maybe Bishop Tutu; I've always been fond of the South Africa sound.

What about Sean Connery? My wife has always said she'd leave me for him in a heartbeat. I'm already old, gray and bald so why not complete the package with a gruff Scotch brogue? I'm feeling more virile already, in an old guy sort of way.

How aboot a Canadian accent, eh? I love to fish and I've been known to drink a beer or two. I prefer warm weather but I'm sure I could get used to the cold.

Ahh, Mexico. Ricardo Montalban, cool and hot, dark and wrapped in fine Corinthian leather. Maybe that's the accent for me.

Russel Crowe and Australia. The temperature is nice and the accent is definitely on the cool side but it seems that fighting is required. I'm well past that point in my life so I think I'll pass.

Germany, das ist gut! Great beer, some of my favorite food and beautiful country. Of course, I'd have to balance that against Nietzsche, Marx, Freud and Hitler; not a group I'd want to have a few laughs with. On the other hand, voluptuous blond women with hands full of beer steins walking through giant tents while polka plays in the background. Sausage and kraut, mustard and pumpernickel bread. Sounding better all the time.

Ireland, the land of St. Patrick and Barry Fitzgerald. Great beer, fine whiskey and terrible food. Great accent, though. Again, the fighting thing is going to raise its ugly little red head and I am prone to shooting off my mouth so maybe not the sound for me.

Then there's Italy; and Sophia Loren. Need I say more? The Mediterranean, the Alps, Rome, the Church, seafood in Sicily, sausage, cheese and pasta, wine and "la dolce vita". Sun washed beaches and friendly people, maybe a bit temperamental and excitable but then I've lived with a Danish wife for almost thirty years that could be described the same way. I know the signs and when to duck. The food is my favorite, I like traditional Italian music and I would enjoy drinking espresso in the cafes.

So, there you have it. Italian is the accent for me! Good thing that my great grandpa came from there so I won't have far to travel. The accent may be encoded in my DNA structure so even a mild headache could set it off.

So, if you start to notice a more laissez-faire attitude (strange...where did that French come from?) you'll know the change has begun. As I start to become less concerned about the world and more focused on family and friends, on enjoying our short time here on earth in these last few days of peace, listen for the accent. The Irish and German in me is starting to tire of the fight and the Italian side is starting to gain some ground. It may be time to lay in the sun, eat, drink and enjoy what God has given us and be grateful for it. Try to keep my wife happy (the Danes are not prone to lying around in the sun, enjoying life, probably because it's too cold to sit still in Denmark); of course if I ever accomplish that she'd lose her reason for living, which is to constantly point out all the ways that I have failed so utterly and completely in my primary purpose in life, which is of course to keep her happy. I still love her more than anything and I'm the luckiest guy alive to have her.

It's a beautiful day here in middle America and I think I'll go feed the chickens and water the garden. I've got a porch to paint and some laundry to do. The birds are chirping and the sun is shining. Have a great day, world! Try to enjoy what we have and be thankful for it.

Man, have I got a headache!

Ciao!